Alla inlägg under mars 2014

Av Kasia - 19 mars 2014 14:09

 


Imagine that one day you are able to push yourself so hard that you actually complete 30 kilometers cross country run. And soon after you are hardly able to walk your 4 years old to the day care two blocks away.

Imagine that you are able to take responsibilities at your job. You are trusted and you are a part of huge projects with people you respect and admire. And the next day you are not able to measure up pasta for 5 people.

Imagine that you are the queen, or king, of optimizing, running through “to do”-lists and delivering something to someone all the time. And suddenly you have a major nervous breakdown because your spouse needs a small favor… on Friday, and he asks you on Monday.

Imagine that today you are the one who likes to keep an eye on everything and everyone and tomorrow you need to protect your eyes from artificial light and you use earplugs just to survive a subway journey.

One day you have control, and the other you stand in the shower and wash your ears with your extra mild pussy soap.


I’ve been through all this these recent months. It was and still is a fight for survival. Fight for acceptance for what had happened. Struggle to go on even if I had no idea who I become and if I would ever recover. Fight against shame and an overwhelming feeling that I have done everything wrong.

Today I am building myself up. From scratch you could say. I dear to call myself Kasia, to begin with. A vulnerable person, a small child deep within.

I learn a whole new range of feelings and reactions to what life has to offer.

I discover and accept that nothing needs to remain as it has always been.


To Be (most probably) Continued…

Av Kasia - 18 mars 2014 21:50

It is seldom in life when one is being encouraged to do as LITTLE as possible.
To do JUST ENOUGH to feel a difference.
To double check with the inner source where your limits are today.
To stop and contemplate your own unique self.
To focuse on the inner, not the outer.
To follow your own lead.
*
This is the core of my (baby step) yoga practise.
Quality above quantity and self awareness.
Completely new range of emotions for a person who was always doing in stead of being.

Av Kasia - 17 mars 2014 09:33

Then it probably means you have fat legs.
Or they might just look fat from a selfie perspective ;)
Either way, how about shifting your attention, maybe trying a pair of pink socks to make your MONDAY a bit less miserable :)
Worked for me!
*
I tried a really nice new shake this morning. I can not suggest it as a coffee replacement though, which I meant to firts. It reduced my already poor brain capacity severely.
Maybe it's the whole detox thing that leaves me with no energy. Hope so.
Anyhow:
2 ripe pears, skin on (for the fibers)
1tbs unsalted almond butter
As much home made coconut milk as you wish
(I used plain water too, it was too rich for my liking)
Blend
Enjoy!

Av Kasia - 16 mars 2014 22:26

I have just learned to make my own almond(+haselnut) and cocnut milk at home.

Store bought ones do not tickle my fancy, honestly, and they are never really pure.

 

My almond and haselnut milk tasted a bit...raw, for lack of a better word. On the other hand today’s coconut milk became creamy, silky and mild.

The procedure is almost the same for both but preparation differs.

 

ALMOND

Soak your almonds/nuts (if male, do not take it figuratively!) over night, at least 8h

       

Blend with pure cold water (about 2 minutes), use one part nuts to two parts liquid, adjust the amount of water to the thickness you prefer

(I added coconut nectar and vanilla powder to taste, perhaps it was too little since the taste was harsh. Also, I did not peal the nuts.)

You can also throw in couple of deseeded and soaked dates for sweetness.

 

Drain through a cheesecloth into a clean and dry container.

   

 

COCONUT

I used coconut flakes but I guess raw coconut meat would be even better.

 

No soaking is needed but you add hot water to the blender. After blending for about 2 minutes I let the mixture rest 10 minutes before I drained it. 

The final result:

 

 

I add my milks to fruit smoothies along with hemp protein. Sometimes I top them with raw cacao powder, cardamon, or dates for sweetness.

 

Last but not least: The squised, dry nut meat can be used for baking or pancakes. You can even roast it and top your muesli with it. Enjoy!

Av Kasia - 16 mars 2014 17:46

How often do you keep yourself busy with fb, blogs(!), etc during your private moments in the toilette. 


How would such a question pop up in anyones head?

This is how:

Detox involves a lot of drinking: fresh juices, herbal teas and above all enormous amounts of water (preferably slightly warm and with a splash of lemon juice!)

That makes one visit the loo like.... every hour!!!

So there I am, at least ten times a day, and what do I notice?

There are nine picture frames, right in front of the visitor's nose, hanging on the wall in our guest toilette.

I know there are nine of them. I made them myself and I hanged them there. But what is the first think I do when I "take a seat"???
I simultaneously roll out the toilette paper   
 even though I haven’t yet get to the business and... I COUNT the frames, from left to right!    Each time! (Nowadays I am able to stop myself before I even come to… number two!

And I do not suffer from the Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.

So why do I do that?

*

*

*

TO KEEP MY MIND BUSY.

Sadly, there were times when I was afraid of what I would have to deal with if my thoughts suddenly went quiet.

Today I train myself to both find AND create more and more of empty space, a resting place within myself.

I hope that this slightly intimate parallel maybe will encourage you to search for your own moments of mental silence. And there are so many simple, repetitive tasks – daily - which we can turn into meditation.

Av Kasia - 15 mars 2014 00:00

I have tried this once already, the blogging. Not a single person had seen it before. I decided I will let it stay here (even though it is in Swedish), because this is how life was, and still is at times for me.


     

I have just started a 21 day long detox.*

I thought I would share some of the insights of it for those who might need one too. And mostly because I think it's a lot of fun!

...And also because a strong urge to speak up was burning my guts for quite a while now.


For several years I was navigating my boat right into this rocky mountain and feeling deep inside that I might be on a wrong course. That some kind of change or maybe a shift of direction if you will, should occur soon if I'm going to survive. Or at least find a way around that mountain.

I didn't.

In October 2012, 18 months ago I hit it with a tremendous speed. I collapsed on an ordinary Sunday morning and found myself in a deep shit of a stress break down. A burn out as the doctor stated few days later.


I was in need for a deep restoration and I had no idea how to proceed.

That time was like driving on a bumpy road, on flat tires, with a broken gps, basically. Back and forth to the same old holes. It still is so. Though new paths have been found since then. They work, sometimes.

...Long story.


Anyhow. I felt the time have come for me to start cleaning up this mess. Even strictly physiologically. This is how I came across Clean program.


I am reading, learning, I let myself be guided, and I am finding out more and more about myself.

It is exciting.

Like a handcraft that you try to master, like sculpting in wood maybe. First you can only see wood chips all over the place and all you feel is pain in your muscles... it is exhausting and you want to give up every now and then, but one day a human silhouette starts showing itself.

Maybe even a work of art...




*The detox is based on a Clean program by Alejandro Junger, M.D., I am not letting myself out there on my own. I know too little about this stuff, a healthy, well functioning human body.

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Embracing the NOW, Zebra-style.

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