Easter is coming. A lot of stress for many of us. Many MUSTS, rushing, fixing, making the Holiday time SPECIAL.

Zbliza sie Wielkanoc. Stresujacy czas dla wielu z nas. Wiele obowiazkow, pospiechu, zalatwiania spraw, dokladania staran, zeby okres Swiateczny byl WYJATKOWY.

So much to do, buy, cook, clean (that applies mostly in Poland ;)... you name it!

Jest tyle do zrobienia, kupienia, ugotowania, sprzatniecia (zwlaszcza w polskich, przykladnych domach ;)... lista jest dluga!

How about making the preparation time count too? Maybe even ENJOY it? Contemplate it?

Co Wy na to, zeby nawet czas przygotowan uczynic wartosciowym? Moze nawet spedzic go z PRZYJEMNOSCIA? W zadumie?

Hear me on that one: do not let your pulse go up on the next RED LIGHT, because it slows you down!

Posluchajcie dobrej rady: niech nastepne CZERWONE SWIATLO nie podniesie Wam pulsu, bo Wam sie spieszy!

Use it to SLOW DOWN, look around, take a deep breath, do something to get in touch with yourself for a short moment. That is what Holidays are about :)

Uzyjcie go jako okazji, zeby ZWOLNIC, rozejrzec sie do okola, wziac gleboki oddech, zlapac kontakt z samym soba choc na chwile. Wtedy bedzie Odswietnie :)

Call me crazy, but sometimes I choose the longest queue in the supermarket and use the waiting time for contemplation and meditation. Try it too!

Moze to szalone, ale czasem wybieram najdluzsza kolejke w supermarkecie i czekajac kontempluje i medytuje. Sprobujcie chetnie!

Red Light to All.

Czerwonego Swiatla Wszystkim.

Funny!

Have I told you that I have two teenagers at home? My BONUS children, as we call them in Sweden.

It goes without saying, they can be a hard nut to crack   Our relation is a long story and maybe there will be time for that too in the future.

But this morning my bonus daughter made me smile BIG TIME. And made me think about the core of relations between adults and young adults/children. And she doesn't even know about it ;)

Last night I saw a very heavy make-up bag standing in a very unsuitable place in the bathroom. When I commented on this I only got a huge "don't decide for me I am not a child I do what I want" exclamation. My intuition told me not to start a fight (BIG WOW for me!). I just mentioned what can happen if the make-up falls down, etc and left the room (followed by even more exclamations)

This morning the make-up bag was placed in a MUCH BETTER space!!!! :))))))

So they just PRETEND that they don't listen   

I am satisfied!

Love to All.

There is I think only one downside of my detox. I developed a very strong need for taste and smell of coffee.

It is no coffeine craving, I just ADORE the aroma, the texture, the smooth, yet heavy bitterness of an ESPRESSO.

Or a bit softer (soy) macchiato.

It is like a punch in the face and a tender touch at the same time.

Forbidden fruit tastes the best? Or can I simply enjoy food and drinks in a smaller size now?

*

Also, how could you say no to this BEAUTY?

Dziekuje Anusiu!   

Fair Trade Coffee to All.

What you see is my lunch in the Sun. My plate on my knee, sitting on wooden stairs, freezing my bare toes off. Totally worth it!!!
I got addicted to those sallads. Now when soya beans and grilled red pepper + tomatoes are OK. I am in heaven.

Want to try a kick-ass dressing?
Mix:
EV Olive Oil
Lemon juice/apple cider vinegar
Lemon zest
Mustard
Honey/agave syrup
Rosé pepper/black pepper will do too.
Play with proportions and ENJOY!

Love and tasty lunch to All.

I might have mentioned to my physiotherapist that I was a bit pissed off in the morning when my space got invaded.

I was really, seriously boiling inside.

I am a master of self control now (blablabla), so I managed to keep my mouth shut, but I was seriously surprised by the POWER of these feelings.

And what does she answer? 'Irritation är en gränssättande känsla'. (Irytacja to uczucie stawiania granic obronnych.)

Irritation shows when your personal bounderies are being crossed by someone. KA-BOOOM!

More! Our BODY knows it first and sends a wake up call to our feelings. A small tension in our shoulders, rising pulse...irritation and if we let it... ANGER and RAGE.

And for so long I thought that those first, physiological signals were... uncontrolled STRESS which I didn't let myself feel. In stead I should have listened and PROTECTED myself, my bounderies, my INTEGRITY.

I am still shocked by this NEWS. I will watch myself and my little new FRIEND, Lady irritation. My guide and help.

Have you ever met your best friend IIRITATION and let it protect you from bad, bad people out there who try to invade you?

Irritation to All, so to speak   

Am I a bad person when I desperately need to be left alone?
Get some space? Just be with myself after a lovely, busy weekend?
Let the outside get quiet so that I can hear what the inside is screaming... longing for.
Through years I have learned to pay attention to what others need. I made it to my mission to keep others satisfied and taken care of.

Why?
Because I liked the immediate SATISFACTION, the feeling of being needed. The thank you.

In the end I got to think that there is no space for my needs, or that I will take care of them later, when everything else is done.
Also, I believe, I was trying to escape from myself and the growing UNEASE within. Keep myself busy enough not to think...
Cliché?
You may get that impression. First. But I have seen this before. I see it every day.
Today my physical body is ALLERGIC to being neglected. I panic when there is no space for ME. No silence.
With my cognitive problems due to the burnout it takes SECONDS fot the whole damn SYSTEM to SHUT DOWN.
Self-control, breath, digestion, consciousness, ALL GONE.
I am on an AUTO PILOT.

And it is not the quality of life I am aiming for today.
Right now it looks like a constant fight but I am here to WIN it! To win my LIFE back!!!

LIFE to All.

You become what you pay attention to.

So much to explore. But blogging should be forbidden after 10 pm. At least for me   

Night night to All.